I’m not sure where this phrase actually came from. I’ve Googled, but there seems to be no difinitive answer. Was it Churchill? I know Rahm Emmanuel has said it…there’s a report with the same title. When I first heard it … I thought what a terrible, terrible concept. While I’m sure there could be some nefarious means to this statement but for some reason this morning during my devotional time…this came up for me. I had not heard this phrase in awhile. But I believe it came about because I’ve been thinking a lot about legacy. I think death and attempting to memorialize someone will do that.

Death is never easy, even if you’ve “prepared” yourself. You can not truly understand what life is like without a person…until you have to. One of my devotions is entitled Fear Gone Wild, it is written by a woman who was widowed due to suicide. (For more information). While she never imagined being widowed and having to raise three small children without her husband that has now become her reality. How did she utilize her crisis? She spoke up and out. There is so much in the church that is taboo and suicide is definitely a no conversation topic. The fact that she didn’t hide how he died and continues to advocate for mental health and resources is really amazing. Even in her crisis her purpose still shines.

There will be trouble in our lives it is totally unavoidable (I know because I try to avoid trouble and pain as much as I can). But even in the midst of tragedy, pain and disappointment can we still find away to use that for a greater good? I know with every disappointing situation, heartbreaking realization… I didn’t always see the good that came from any of it. What I do realize now is that each time… those hard times pushed me further and further out of my comfort zone. When my cousin was murdered, I was this close to putting in my resignation letter at a job that was just sucking the life out of me. I saw his death as a true sign of the brevity of life and wrote my resignation letter. A supervisor was removed before I got back from his funeral and I saw that as a sign to stay. Looking back I realize now I got comfortable. The environment didn’t change just because of the removal of the person. There was a spirit of confusion and contention in that office. I backed away and backed down…almost as quickly as I had built my resolve.

My panic attacks were my ejection button. When it was something I could no longer run from, I faced it. Within two weeks of my first panic attack I turned in my notice. I jumped without another job lined up. I knew then that this was literally life and death for me. If I kept going on that path my health would continue to deteriorate.

What are your non negotiables? What are things you just can’t sacrifice in order to achieve your dreams? A crisis is a great measuring stick. A crisis will have you reevaluate everything in your life. That time period maybe painful. It maybe even embarrassing, but it’s necessary.

Without my panic attacks two things would have happened. I would have stayed at a place that did not value me as a person and Yes, I Have A Therapist (YIHAT) would not have happend. As a wellness advocate, I am in no way suggesting you don’t take time to mourn or process what has happened to you. Just be careful that you don’t fall back into comfortability regarding a situation you know is not allowing you to truly flourish.

How will you use your crisis? Is it a job loss? A relationship that has crumbled? Failed business? How can this be used for your benefit?