That’s right, the week after Mother’s Day… it’s Stepmother’s day. I’ve been officially a stepmother for seven years but in my bonus baby’s life for eight years. Tomorrow he turns 10..double digits. I can’t believe it. Stepmothers have a very interesting role, like biological mothers, being a stepmother is a choice….unlike being a biological mother…there are quite a few factors that determine how one can be in the child’s life. I’ve always believed that a child can never have too many people to love on them… And I have about three women in my life I affectionately call Mom that aren’t biologically related to me. These are women I highly respect and can speak into my life. I also have a few play aunties with that level of intimacy as well. So the term mother for me has always meant a woman who seeks my best interest, who guides and loves on me. Now, with that being said, there is only ONE Delores (my biological momma) and I’ve never mixed any of the others up with her LOL. But I do highly respect them. That’s the role I see as a stepmother. I love on my bonus baby not as freely as I have in the past honestly because again there are other factors and other feelings involved but I love that boy with everything that I’m allowed to. Being a stepmother is so hard especially when you’re an empath. Meaning I feel things so, so deeply and I internalize a great bit of my world. But it’s so beautiful. I get to and have to choose love everyday for a person that I didn’t birth. To a person that honestly, I have no say in really important matters concerning him, regardless of how I feel. I keep that boundary for several reasons but the number one is respect. It takes alot to allow someone else to be around your most precious gift (your child) and that’s never some thing I’ve ever taken lightly. This journey has not been easy but it has made me who I am and even influenced how I mother my biological babies. I get to see how precious each moment truly is. The privilege to watch them grow up. As my bonus kid enters his last day in his single digits I celebrate him and my role in being in his life.
Cheers to all the stepmommas 🍸