If you’re a follower of my other blog rad7even you will know that in November 2013, I lost a baby due to an ectopic pregnancy.  Now,  I know this might be a weird way to start this blog. …but please follow.

You see lately, I found myself being a bit snappy, tired and just overall sluggish and couldn’t quite put my finger on it…that is when I remembered the anniversary of the ectopic pregnancy was coming up.

I bring this up to say, things affect us. If you’ve lost a child, were abused and or mistreated those situations will affect you. If you’re unaware of where your heart is it can cause you to make poor choices. Or no choice because you have feelings of unworthiness floating in the background. Or feelings of doubt or shame….things that are really too heavy to deal with alone. When i lost the baby,I joined a ton of online support groups, I talked a lot, I wrote a lot….I cried a lot.

Everyday got a little bit better.  I’m still sad sometimes around this time of year, because I always wonder what if. ..but it doesn’t consume me any more. I acknowledge my feelings and I give myself time to feel and then…i push forward.

• I hope that if you recognize your emotional wonds that you get help.  Whatever that looks like for you, online support groups, counseling etc
• I hope you don’t run from those feelings.  I tried at first to just “soldier” through how I felt,  downplay it. It slowly began to eat me alive.  We have emotions,  some of them are harder to embrace than others…but don’t hide from it
• Be HONEST if it’s a bad day. Say so. Don’t lie to yourself or others

Hope this helped someone 🙂 keep pushing