I am a woman who believes in prayer. I’m sitting in a home that I literally co-created with God via my belief…when nothing and I do mean nothing was visible in the natural. Even with this knowledge, and even with this physical manifestation I forget the true power of prayer and what it can offer.

The last few weeks have been nothing short of exhausting. I mean I feel under attack in every way. I wish I could say everyday I stood and fought but in reality, a few of those days I was knocked flat on my face.

In many ways I’ve always been a person that stood/stands in the gap for others. I’m the oldest child, I work in non profit and I am a mother and a wife. There are plenty of people who lean on me and depend on me daily. Usually, this isn’t too bad because I’ve really challenged myself to lean on God. Really pray and just let go. There are times when something or someone is so precious to me it makes it a very vulnerable act to release them fully into my Daddy’s hands. And I struggle and I wrestle with what I want and what His will actually will be. You know the prayer:

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

Matthew 6:10

But usually I want it done on earth in a way that puts me at full ease…that’s not always how that works. Even though I know I don’t have any real power or authority without Him, I still try to subvert my own will, because…anything else might hurt.

The hurt is not what is always talked about… Paul asked for his thorn to be removed, God didn’t remove it. John the Baptist, Jesus own cousin was beheaded…that’s a deep wound. Even Jesus when He prayed for the cup to pass from Him…He said not my will but Thy will…. The cup did not pass and Jesus was indeed crucified. The very sacrifice that Jesus gave (that we celebrate) was incredibly painful. And at the time, it really looked and probably felt like all hope was lost.

Feeling defeated and being defeated are two very different things. I felt defeated last week, like nothing was working for your girl. But I took refuge in God…after I let my flesh cry it out and here we are. Nothing is “solved” just yet… But I am resolved in where I stand, in the gap or otherwise.

I just read in Daniel chapter 10 verses 10-14, that although Daniel had prayed for three weeks (21 days) it wasn’t until the 24 day that an answer via an angel appeared to him. The answer was there from day one, but was warring in the Spirit unbeknownst to Daniel. For three weeks nothing…. 21 full days and boom 24th day, ya boy is having a full on conversation with an angel. Scripture originally found here

I dont know what battle you are facing or if you’re ready to give, but…I’m here saying…stand in the gap one more day.

one day at a time

Renee’