If worrying were a superpower…

With Marvel movies’ success, many of us are familiar with superheroes, in fact you may have taken a superhero personality test at some point over this pandemic. I have had a superpower my entire life I’d like to call Future Vision. I can create 102 various scenarios on how something, anything can and will go wrong. I remember being younger and being excited to speak in front of my classmates, but then in my mind, I would hear this voice what if you stutter? or what if you trip walking to the front of the classroom? why did you wear the pants that make you look weird in the front, it’s going to distract from your message? At the time those “little” harmless thoughts grew into bigger thoughts like, what if I let my child ride with them and they get into a car accident? what if there’s a fire, did we go over the saftey plan enough? We had tornadoes last week, what would we do if we all couldn’t make it downstairs fast enough?

I don’t know about you, but my brain has to be exhausted doing this 365 days a year for atleast twenty years. The most interesting part for me was the normalcy of what this sounded like. I heard it everyday, and it would guide many of my decisions. Now as a believer, I do believe the Holy Spirit guides me and gives me wisdom, but I don’t believe those thoughts were for wisdom. They were all from worry. Various scenarios I created so I could make the absolute safest choice possible. But in reality, some of the hardest and best decisions I have made for my life came because I prayed and moved. I didn’t sit in a meeting with God for 45 days, I prayed, I felt like I heard what He said and then acted on that prompt. When I quit my job five years ago without another job lined up, I did so because I felt so deeply in my spirit that it was time to do so. I prayed and had prayed a year prior about leaving, but fear kept me frozen. My “logic” as I called it made it seem impossible to do so. Although, I felt strongly that I should have left so much sooner, God still took care of me. When I was pregnant with Daniel, there were many naysayers as to what I would be able to do and we both have thrived. There are so many more instances that I can point to and say “God moved for me”, yet that voice. The one I’ve labled logic my entire life is/was present. That voice makes me not trust what I absolutely feel is in my best interest. So today on Ressurection Sunday, I decided to really take Jesus up on His gift on being brand new. So many times we think brand new is a bad thing, but that is not necessarily true. God calls us to do a new thing, because He is creative, He is the creator. So if I am made in His image, then I too, by default must be made a new. The newness starts with capturing my thoughts. I have a quote from James Baldwin that I love, I love it so much that I had a friend put it on my graduation cap.

For me, it’s not the “others” that I need to focus on as much…it’s me. So I am going to start interrupting my thoughts by doing. By doing all the things I fear and by speaking the Word aloud.

Disrupt your thoughts today!

Do you have any negative powers? How will overcome the enemy within?

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